Holidays

I always thought it was weird when people said that they missed there loved ones more during holidays.  I could understand why, most likely because that was a time when you would see them, but always thought it was a little strange.  One thing I am learning is that a lot of those things I always thought people just said about a loved one who was gone were just said because that is what you were suppose to say.  I am finding myself experiencing more and more of those "normal" things.
This week I have found myself thinking of my dad a lot.  I would be doing something and a random thought or memory of him would come to me that was as if it was happening right in front of me on a movie screen.  I heard so many of his words spoken loud and clear in his voice in my head.  I would be in the kitchen just thinking about how wonderful Thanksgiving time past Thanksgivings would flood my mind.  His words or humor would always be in those memories.  As I celebrated Thanksgiving I tried to linger in those moments just to remember him and enjoy his loving spirit! 
I don't know if I will have one of those moments like other talk about going through their first holiday's without them, but I guess I am not sure how or what I will feel until it comes.
It was different than I thought it was going to be.  I missed him and knowing that it will be a long time before I will be with him at a holiday gather hurts more than I expected.  And thinking that my children are not going to have those experiences was the worst.  I am truly thankful for those memories that I do have. 
One think I am that I learned/got from him is finding joy in making other happy.  If I can do something that makes another person happy I am on cloud nine!  I hope to always remember that it is truly better to give than to receive.