I am starting to feel like its "real." About a week ago I started dreaming about my dad being gone. It began to hit me then and gradually over the last week it has felt worse. Today by far is the worst day yet. It is just when I expected. Everyone is gone home and there is no distractions. I know I can get through it, but I am really sad! I can not imagine just how much I am going to miss him of the rest of my life. What I am even more sad about is Kenya not seeing him anymore and I that I will not get to the see the joy in his eyes as he plays with my children. Those are my favorite and best memories of him. I had a lot of fun playing with him as a child and hold those memories dear, but nothing can replace the pure joy I could see in him as he played with his grandchildren. I know that I made him happy, and in his own words... "If you are happy, then thats all that matters!"
So, I am sure there are going to be more crying in the next couple of days and more sadness, but I know that plan of salvation and will always find comfort in it.
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